


The Ghost of You

by Obscureseptiplierfan



Category: Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: Death, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, suicide note
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-15 22:35:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8075467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obscureseptiplierfan/pseuds/Obscureseptiplierfan
Summary: That feeling you get when you are alone. You know the one, the slight warm pressure of a touch against your skin. You're alone, but you know in your heart that you aren't. Not really.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Warning. This has a lot of dark stuff throughout it. Suicide and depression are a major theme. If you are not cool with that, please hit the back button now. Please do not try to read this if you think that you might be negatively impacted by what is written here. 
> 
> If you do stay, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Some formatting errors have happened. I used my phone to write and post this.
> 
> The title of this work is taken from two songs of the same name by Good Charlotte and My Chemical Romance.

Mark hasn't been alone in a quite some time. He thought for sure that he would after the death of his best friend, the only person he would ever love. He didn't even get to express his feelings to the other man.  
The flight wasn't supposed to go down before it reached LA, but it did. There were no survivors. Along with 136 other people, Sean had lost his life among the carnage of twisted metal.  
Mark had plans. Plans that would never happen now. He was finally going to tell Sean how he felt. Every little detail had been meticulously planned out. When news of the crash reached Mark, the man fell to his knees, anguish filling him up.

_"This can't be happening."_ Mark thought to himself frantically.  _"We are supposed to live happily ever after. Sean can't be dead."_ The thoughts raced through Marks mind at a mile a minute. He knew nothing would ever be the same.

When the time came, Mark couldn't bring himself to fly out to Ireland for the funeral. He was just too afraid of planes to fly. While everyone understood his hesitance, he still felt awful about not being there. He set up his own little memorial Live Stream for himself and for the fans. Everyone would miss the loud, energetic Irishman. Nothing and no one could ever replace him on the hearts of all who loved him.

\- - -

Mark often found himself watching old jacksepticeye videos just to hear the energetic voice of the man he loved. Tears would run down his cheeks. Soon after, A warmth would rise up on his cheeks. He couldn't explain what it was, but it always made things better no matter how often it happened.  
He touched Sean's face frozen on his computer screen. "I love you, Sean." He whispered. His lips tinged with that same warmth. He couldn't help but smile as his index and middle fingers touched his lips.

 

Jack watched Mark's face as he dreamt, his sleeping form restless. A crease found its way onto his forehead. It looked wrong amongst his other usually smooth features. Jack leaned forward and brushed the hair away from Marks eyes. The action caused the taller man to stir slightly, a smile curling upon his lips.  
"I love you, Mark." He told the sleeping form softly, taking his leave for a while. He had some things he needed to do.  
Mark would dream that his Sean was there again. He would be sitting on the edge of the Americans bed, watching as his love woke up  
"I love you, Mark," the Irishman would say before disappearing. Mark's throat would constrict, his heart breaking all over again as he remembered that Sean was gone. He would never hear the words in any way other than within the confines of his dreams.

The loss, and the subsequent reliving of it, drove Mark beyond his breaking point. He would give anything just to look into those beautiful blue eyes. He knew that it wouldn't happen, not really. Not so long as Mark was alive and Jack was dead. That's when his new plans began. These plans would be just a meticulous as his previous ones.

Jack watched Mark struggle, his smile never quite reached his eyes anymore. It was evident to everyone that Mark wasn't okay. He barely left his house anymore. He even went so far as to order groceries online and having them delivered to his home. He wasn't putting his all into videos, barely getting a single one up on time each day. The fans understood. They told him to take all the time he needed. They didn't know that he was already planning on taking something and he was trying to prepare them for him not being around anymore. It was the least he could do for the people that supported him.

Mark was definitely not the same person he was three months ago. He felt different now, like he had finally made an important decision about his future. There was no stopping him now that he was determined. Once he set his mind to something, that was it, he would succeed. After all, that was how he was able to get so far with YouTube.  
Jack knew that something was seriously wrong with Mark. If what he had been looking up online was any indication, Mark was not okay. His search history was full of questions like, "how deep to cut", "what is the best way to kill yourself", 'What is the fastest way to die''. All queries had been answered and Mark had a method picked out. It was only a matter of time now. Jack was at a loss, he couldn't save Mark, It was enough to kill Jack all over again.

\---

Mark was ready. He had everything he needed. He had already written his note telling every one that he loved them but he just couldn't live without Jack. He assured them all that this was no ones fault, no ones but his own. He told them that it was better this way, he was already dead inside, he might as well make the whole thing official.  
Mark started toward the bathroom after he sent out a tweet simply saying, "thank you all so much for your continued support. I love you, guys." He had turned off his phone after that, not wanting to hear the notifications he was sure he would get. He needed to concentrate. He didn't want to mess this up. He didn't want to screw up this final act. It was too important.  
He ran semi-hot water, set the blade on the edge of the tub, and waited as the water level rose. Soon enough, everything was ready. The stage was set, and it was curtains for the YouTuber.  
He got into the water, still wearing all his clothes. He placed the sharp edge of the blade against the flesh of his forearm. He was just about to press down and pull the blade down one of the throbbing veins when he felt a pressure on his wrist, stopping him in his tracks  
"What the fuck?" Mark asked loudly, wincing when his voice echoed off the walls around him. He was met with silence.  
Jack couldn't watch Mark do this. He had to at least attempt to stop the other man. So, with all his strength, he grabbed Mark's wrist. It took everything he had, but it worked. Mark had stopped. Jack tried to reply, but Mark couldn't hear him. After a few more seconds, Jack felt his grip falter then completely fade.  
It only made Mark more determined. He started again with renewed vigor. Pressing the blade firmly against his skin, he began the trek down his forearm. The pain bit into him almost immediately but it didn't slow him down. If anything, it only served to spurn him further and faster. The cut was pretty deep, and blood was already flowing a deep claret. Mark took the blade in his non-dominant and begun his work again.  
Jack sat in horror as blood dripped from Marks arm like a faucet that had sprung a nasty leak. Mark placed his arms into the warmth, and watched as the clear water changed to a pale pink.Why am I important to you?  
Mark could feel his entire body beginning to weigh down, his eyes heavy now that he was losing consciousness. His mind filled with beautiful images of his Sean smiling. This was bliss. He would have Sean running through his mind as he began his final descent. His end would be beautiful. His breathing slowed and his eyes fluttered shut.

**Author's Note:**

> If you are depressed and thinking about ending your life, please seek help. You are not alone. There are people that love and care about you. 
> 
> If you need help, call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
> 
> If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911 now. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this. Comments and kudos are appreciated. <3


End file.
